Tag: Negotiation Skills

The Best Christmas Gift? A book on Hostage Negotiation
I have just finished reading a gift I was given for Christmas: Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss.

Voss was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI. You might wonder what a hostage negotiator has to teach a CEO or a Business Director.

The answer is: Everything.

In business, we are taught to be “Rational.” We use logic, spreadsheets, and “win-win” frameworks. But Voss’s core thesis is that humans are fundamentally irrational, driven by fear, and governed by emotion.

If you try to negotiate with “Logic” against an “Emotion”, you will lose every time.

Here are the three “Non-Rational” tactics I recommend every leader masters in 2026:
- The “Accusation Audit”: List every terrible thing the other side could say about you before they have the chance to say it. It “disarms” the tension immediately.
- Tactical Labelling: Instead of asking “Why are you angry?”, you say: “It seems like you feel this proposal is unfair.” It forces the other person to reflect rather than react.
- The Power of “No”: We are trained to chase a “Yes”. But “Yes” is often a trap or a politeness. Voss argues that “No” is where the negotiation actually starts. It makes the other person feel safe and in control.
As an Executive Coach, I see these tactics work where “Traditional Sales” fails.

When my clients are negotiating in their second language, they often get stuck on the “Maths” of the deal.

They forget that the person across the table is looking for Safety and Understanding, not just a 10% discount.

Negotiation isn’t a battle of wits; it’s an exercise in Tactical Empathy.

The Lesson:
Don’t “Split the Difference”. Splitting the difference is just a way for two people to walk away unhappy.

Learn to navigate the emotional undercurrents of the room, and you’ll find that the “Logic” of the deal takes care of itself.
27 January 2026 • 2 min read
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗼𝘂𝗿

𝗧𝗵𝗲 “𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗼𝘂𝗿”: What a Tunisian tea service taught me about boardroom silence.

𝗜 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝗴𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱. I was wrong. It is what happens when nobody is talking.

I learnt this lesson in the mountains of Toujane, watching a Berber vendor prepare tea.

He didn’t rush. He didn’t fill the space with a sales pitch or “justifications” for the price of his rugs.

He simply poured the tea from a height—a long, steady stream that creates a thick foam—and then he sat in total, comfortable silence.

In the West, particularly in business, we are terrified of silence. We view it as an “𝗮𝘄𝗸𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗴𝗮𝗽” that needs to be filled.

When we state a price or a proposal and the other person doesn’t immediately respond, our anxiety spikes.

We feel the urge to:

• Offer a “pre-emptive” discount.
• Explain our “value proposition” for the fifth time.
• Ask “Does that make sense?” just to hear a human voice.

In that moment of “filling the gap”, we usually negotiate against ourselves.

𝙎𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙞𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙖 𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙙; 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙖 𝙢𝙞𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙧.

When you stop talking after stating your terms, you hand the emotional “weight” of the conversation to the other person.

They are forced to confront their own thoughts, their own budget, and their own needs.

If you can’t handle five seconds of silence after naming your fee, you are telling the client that you don’t truly believe you are worth it.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗰𝗲𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱.

In 2026, learn to be comfortable in the quiet. Silence isn’t a sign that the deal is dying—it’s a sign that the other person is actually thinking.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝗴𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹.

16 December 2025 • 2 min read
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝘂𝗷𝗮𝗻𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻: 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗜 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 “𝗛𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴”.

I learnt my most valuable negotiation framework in the mountain village of Toujane, Tunisia, for the price of a handmade rug.

This photo was taken quite a few years ago in the Berber heartland—far from the coastal resorts, where trade is still done with a handshake and a lot of patience.

I found the rug you see behind me—heavy, geometric patterns, coloured with natural deep blue.

I thought I was prepared. I had been told the “rule” of the market:

“Always counter-offer at 25% of the initial price.”

The old man gave his number. I hit him with my 25% calculation.

We did the “dance” for twenty minutes.
I was focused on the maths.
I was focused on “winning”.

I had my exit strategy ready. I reached for my car keys, prepared to walk back to the dusty mountain road to prove I was the one in control.

But right as I turned to leave, the vendor stopped talking about the rug entirely.

He pulled out the silver teapot you see here on the table.

He poured the tea from a height—a long, steady stream. He handed me a glass, looked me in the eye, and asked:

“𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 ‘𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘦’, 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦?”

The question stripped away my logic.

He realised I wasn’t buying wool and dye.

I was buying a “creative anchor” for my home and a connection to these mountains.

The moment he shifted the negotiation from Transactional (my 25% rule) to Human (the value of the work), my “firm limit” evaporated.

I ended up paying significantly more than my “rule” allowed—and that rug still sits in my home today.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻:
If you’re arguing over a “fixed percentage”, you’re fighting for the wrong thing.

The master negotiator doesn’t win by lowering the price.
They win by shifting the focus from the cost of the product to the value of the transformation.

Stop defending your invoice. Start articulating the story.

12 December 2025 • 2 min read

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Tag: Negotiation Skills

The Best Christmas Gift? A book on Hostage Negotiation

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗼𝘂𝗿

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝘂𝗷𝗮𝗻𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻: 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗜 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 “𝗛𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴”.

Team Leadership & EQ Audit.